Giving Thanks

November 25, 2008

Dwelling on love, appreciation and gratitude is putting your state of being at its highest.  It nullifies our wishes, complaints and sad stories.  It changes the current.  Authentic thanks shift the world.  I always need to do this, because it’s easy to take the things I’m thankful for for granted.

The great thing about willing myself to be grateful is it stops the same old – same old, the tendency towards boredome, the horrible consequences of “I already know.”

The advantage of the negative is its ability to let us be aware of and appreciate the positive — My asthma lets me be thankful for fresh air, as pollution allows me to be thankful for green.

I’ve spent too many years thinking of Thanksgiving as a feast day, surrounded by relatives fitting accustomed roles; thinking of tumult; not thinking of my many blessings.  Think right now of ten things you are thankful for.  Not those; ten others.  Not those; ten others…  I can keep going.  I certainly never thought to feel thanks for the people who made my clothing, or somehow got it from there to here to me.

I’m going to keep going on http://lifeyoudeserve.blogspotcom/.

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Awesome Coaching Notes: 5-21

May 22, 2008

Group Coaching is an interesting phenomenon,,, a lot like a jazz combo – one riff comes after another and flies above it.  The rhythym of the group creates a certain tension that facilitates the solos.  Sounds strange, I know, but the things that are said are often unpredictable.

Last night we dealt with each person’s goals.  I saw that the way we normally treat a goal is similar to the way we usually deal with a project – in some sense like a straight line.  Here’s the starting point – then this step, that step, and on until this milestone is reached, then that and so on.  That’s not even what happens with project plans.  We lose sight of “Man plans, God laughs.”  When plans are fixed, we often scramble to deal with frequent emergencies, shifts in outside factors, oversights, etc.  They often seem to rely on one or two people who somehow deal with the breakdowns and move forward regardless.

Goals rarely start with a well-defined plan; the plan -if any – is usually incomplete or non-existent.  There’s often floundering around, searching for a useful direction.  I use the prairie dog metaphor — constantly sicking your head out and scanning the horizon to see what’s next.  Course correction is constant; ‘next’ is often more valuable than ‘forward.’  Too many people are discouraged by an apparent blunder.  Blunders teach.

That brought up the subject of where do goals come from?  Are they realistic?  Are they achievable?
I floundered.  There’s something useful achieved simply by saying them… Saying them to a group is even more valuable.  This brings the Law of Attraction into play.  We work with ‘how’ to provide focus and intention.  But focusing gives the universe the ‘what.’  Tiny impulses provide the ‘how.’… where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Look, the main feature of goals is that they defy statistics.  I know that some of my clients havce stated goals that seem impossible (“have my husband’s ex-wife stop suing us.”  and similar leaps into the, at best, improbable) And have made their goals.  Not all make their goals.  Most – overwhelming number – do.  Why is the most intriguing question for  coach.

Coaching 2.0 Teleseminar is Set

April 10, 2008

The Teleseminar is now booked
The subject is chosen
All we need is YOU.

If you picked Relationships on the survey of topics, you win and you will receive a copy of The Relationship Principles.  So will the first 75 attendees to the teleseminar.  Here’s a taste:

The Relationship Principles

Work relationships have special challenges.

There are different kinds of work relationships and they’re very fluid, from when you first start to when you’re a seasoned veteran.

• Peer to peer relationships
• Relationships with different levels of supervisors
• Relationship with recently promoted supervisors
• Relationships with people who leave
• Relationship with clients or customers
• Relationship with providers, with service personnel
• Relationships between supervisors and reporting personnel

The Coaching 2.0 teleseminar on Wednesday, April 30,(7:30 -830 EDT) will be about this, Relationships at Work.

Though this seminar will focus on work relationships, it is really about all relationships – friends, community, family, …  What makes work relationships unique is that  there’s no choice involved.

This is an ideal topic to discover what Coaching 2.0 provides.

The intended results of this particular seminar is to allow a measurable improvement in your work morale and a possible shift in all relationships.  The cost for participating in this is $23.00.  And the net cost for the first 75 participants is then $10+  Write me michael@michaellipp.com to register.

 

Coaching Two Point Ahh by Michael Lipp

April 3, 2008

The Coaching 2.0 teleseminar is coming!

Here’s what you will get out of this brand new form of coaching

• You’ll be inspired
• You will experience that insights are contagious
• You will make a difference in other’s lives
• You’ll have fun
• You will be eager for the coaching
• You will see things that matter in your whole life

I want to know what you want to hear.  What will make the biggest difference for you?  I’m sending you a survey so you can tell me. Just ask!

I’ll suggest a few things, but it’s really up to you. 

And I’m going to turn this survey into a contest.  If I choose your topic I’m going to send you a copy of my five-session e-Course:  Having Problems Disappear.  This is really a cool course.  I’ve given it to hundreds of people.  It works.

Write me at michael@michaellipp.com for the survey and to sign up or whatever.

Coaching Two Point Oh Oh

March 27, 2008

You know, I’ve been writing about Coaching 2.0 for a while now.  As I’ve told you, the feedback from my clients has been unvaryingly great.  The problem is that talking about it isn’t it.

So I’ve been wondering how I can give you a taste of it, give you some way of discovering it so you can make use of it in your life, make use of it in your business or, if you’re a coach, make use of it in your practice.

Then I thought – Maybe I can do a teleseminar and really show people how exciting it can be.  Except that would have you hear me talking about it instead of reading about it.  Big deal.  But then I got this idea.

I’ve been on teleseminars where they sometimes let one person from the audience interact with the leader.  Or one person acts as moderator and others interact with the leader.  That’s better, but it’s still not what Coaching 2.0 is, because the flavor is still missing, the dynamism is not there.

Well, I’ve given myself a small research project and I’ll tell you about it on April 3rd, hoping I’m not a fool, because here’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to schedule a teleseminar in a few weeks.  And I am committing to be able to demonstrate Coaching 2.0 in a way that you will absolutely get it.  Call it a bold experiment.

Commitment and Vulnerability

March 26, 2008

Commitment is an extraordinary force in people’s lives – It has the power to overcome thoughts, emotions, moods and habits – virtually anything that we use to stop ourselves from doing anything.  And there are commitment-phobes, not only in relationships, but in any area of our lives.

So a useful question is, “What stops commitment?”  One possible answer is Vulnerability.  Every time we commit – to anything, we increase the chances of being wounded, of losing, of failing.  And we have all experienced wounds, loss and failure.  Commitment exposes an area of vulnerability and we’ve experienced the dangers.

We have established a history where vulnerability = commitment, so why commit?  The way to become invulnerable is to not commit.  And despite the evidence of the strength of commitment, the embedded fear of vulnerability dominates.

The problem is that you can’t hedge your bet.  Commitment is 100%; you cannot sort of commit.  But here is where we trick – and in tricking – rob ourselves.  After a while – and the length of ‘a while’ is different for each of us – the experience of the hurt disappears.  But the decisions not to – the armor of invulnerability remains and hardens.  And we remain hurt when the next opportunity arises.

We’re left with wanting the rewards of commitment before committing.  We stand in front of a fireplace and yell at it, “First give me fire, then I’ll give you wood.” 

We are hurt in advance, by memories perhaps forgotten.  Here’s the only thing to do to gain the power commitment gives  you:

When you come to a high wall, toss your hat over it.  Then you’ll climb.

More good things are coming from me.  I will be launching a teleseminar on Coaching 2.0 – not so you’ll find out about it, but so you’ll experience it.  Still things I’m researching.  Stay tuned.  Check my website:  www.michaellipp.com

A New Form of Coaching

March 13, 2008

I’ve been practicing a form of coaching that I call Coaching 2.0.  What is it that makes it different from other forms of group coaching and why should people be interested?

Well, to start with, group coaching is more economical than one on one coaching, certainly a meaningful factor, particularly in today’s economy.  But every coach practices group coaching.  So?

Well, there are two mindsets that make this unique.  The first is the underlying premise of Coaching 2.0, which is that each client participates as well as I do, both as client and coach.  And the second premise is that I will lead the conversations in such a way that it stays on purpose and produces value for all.

There are three ways I lead a session.  The first is somewhat standard.  My coaching is fundamentally goal oriented, so we will look at people’s progress or stumbling blocks on fulfilling their goals.  Of course, no one is ever forced to participate, because in any group coaching session, you can ask for discretion, but you can’t guarantee it.  My experience in this matter is that people are extraordinarily generous.  So when one person ‘reports’ on progress or no progress, others join in.  My role is traditional.  I use all the technology of conversations – listening, repeating, interpreting and so on.

The second is that I may look at a general area, let’s say requests and lecture about it for a very few minutes and ask what participants see when they broach that topic; how are they about making requests; how are they about accepting, refusing or counter-offering.  These conversations are lively, pointed and invariably produce breakthroughs for more than one client, perhaps in many goals or goal areas.

And the third is that we dive in without any lecture.  For example, last night I simply read a quote from Frederick Brown, “A thing can look beautiful or romantic or inspiring only if the beauty or romance or inspiration is inside you.  What you see is inside your head.”  And then open the conversation.  Again, that can be very powerful and results in clients having breakthroughs.

This is a fast and fruitful way to coach.

I am offering a free 6-session seminar using Coaching 2.0, called The Principles of Relationships, starting April 21.  See my website, www.michaellipp.com for details and to register.

Requesting

March 7, 2008

Requesting There are two interesting measures of your power in the world and when you look at where we are with each of them, you can see how we rob ourselves.  And both of them deal with requesting.   The first is our ability to say “no” to requests made of us and, perhaps, simply measuring the number of those requests made of us. And the second is our ability to make requests of others. Of course, they’re related.  But let’s deal with them as if separate.  Here are some of the consequences of not being able to say no.  You rob yourself of the ability to contribute.  You feel that you’re being taken advantage of, that people are using you.  You have this sense of being a martyr; resentment builds.  And you have to hide all of that and are not even able to complain about it.  How can you, you said yes? How many noes will it take for you to be free of this?  I think only one.  The most important thing to see is that you aren’t saying no to the person, you’re saying no to the request.  We get the two mixed up.  When you observe that the requestor still feels the same about you, you’re cured, or at least have begun the cure.  Practice.  Oh, yes.  Here’s a crucial adjunct.  Just say no.  Do not give a reason.  You demean yourself by explaining.  In business, you always have to have a CYA statement.  No one believes you; they only believe your reason; it keeps you small. Now, since you feel that way about saying no, you must feel that that’s how someone will feel if you make a request of them.  You don’t want them to feel abused, resentful, obligated to you, and so forth.  You simply don’t want to impose.  Going hand in glove with that is wanting to do it all, and do it all yourself, wanting to live up to a foolish standard of perfection – a combination of Superman and the Lone Ranger.  You rob them of their ability to contribute.  You actually think it’s easier to do it by yourself and you keep finding out it isn’t.  You complain about not enough time, never a minute to yourself.  You feel powerless. How can you learn to make requests?  You can make a request when you know the answer will be no.  Or you can make a request when you know the answer will be yes.  Or both.  Notice their reactions.  Notice yours.  How long will this take?  Maybe forever.  It won’t necessarily go away.  It may go away about certain area, but not with others.  Play.

Viral Coaching

February 14, 2008

One of the ways I coach is with small groups.  My job is to orchestrate the conversation.  What I find over and over is that the participants coach one another; insights are contagious and shift the conversation.  What I do is summarize, appreciate and put my 2 cents in.  And, inevitably, I am coached and get value from the conversation,

In many ways this is far more effective than one on one coaching and, remarkably, it is far less expensive.  I will analogize this to Web 2.0, a sort of Coaching 2.0.  I provide an overall commitment and a gross structure.  You provide the rest.

Why I called this Viral Coaching is another aspect of the same Coaching 2.0 notion.  I know that people will talk about this.  “Hey, I’m doing something that you would love.  You should try this.  It’s Awesome Coaching and it’s awesome.” 

The Name of the Game

February 5, 2008

The name of our game is Trust.

I have said before that attention is the missing ingredient – that we all need to get people’s attention, to keep that attention and then to have people act on it.  I know I need it and so do you.  It may be in forming a relationship; it may be in forwarding a career; it may be in fulfilling a dream, a commitment, a noble cause.  But nothing can be done alone and expanding involvement is always essential.

Let’s talk about keeping attention and then acting on it.  That’s where trust enters in.  Because we have been thoroughtly trained not to trust.  It’s super-Tuesday, after all – Getting through the smokescreens of promises to discover the kernels of believability is up to each of us.  Who can we trust?  We see 5,000 ads a day.  Which wins our trust? 

Trust keeps our attention and causes us to act.  But here’s the conflict: “The only way to make a man trustworthy, is to trust him.” And we have been schooled in suspicion.

Well, here’s what I do and who I am.  What I do is give you tremendous free goods and services.  F’rinstance:  I give away a free 6 session semionar.  I’ve done it four times already and I have another starting Monday, February 18 (and the next 5 Mondays) You email me michael@michaellipp.com and I’ll register you, or I’ll send you a course description:  The Relationship Principles gives you a powerful experience of my coaching and new and valuable insights into your relationships, from intimate to business.  Sign up on my website www.michaellipp.com and you’ll get free newsletters on coaching every week as well as access to the best material you can hope for.  And there are my blogs.  That’s some of what I do.

And who I am (read my profile) is a complete commitment to all of us fulfilling our dreams, obtaining a susteinable environment, social justice and spiritual fulfillment.  I’ve learned a lot in my 71 years and I make it all available.

My intention is to earn the kind of trust that has you ask me to fulfill your wants and needs – not only with coaching.  You can count on my recommendations.