Archive for November, 2007

Permission

November 27, 2007

A friend of mine just emailed me about an essay I wrote – The ‘message’ I wrote was that when I give you my word, I am also giving you permission to hold me accountable for keeping that word.  I can’t find it – but I hold myself accountable because I gave him my word.

One of the things about that is that we are careless about our word.  See – it’s not dependent on standard, agreed upon English.  We do not have to say, “you have my word” or “I promise that …”  So we can’t wiggle out when we don’t use those phrases.  It could be something simple, even nebulous, like, “I’ll get back to you on that.”  Even though we don’t give a specific ‘by when,’ there’s a commitment there – granted, the receiver has to have a sense of when ‘long enough’ is…so there is some wiggle room – but not that much.

If I consider myself a person whose word is solid (and I do), then I owe it to myself to allow you to hold me accountable for it.   I follow the Law of Attraction – The Universe responds to who I am – not to who I say I am.  If I am always true to my word, then my word is law, at least in my universe (which is the only one that counts for me.)

Now I don’t always keep my word – this isn’t a holier than thou sermon.  Sometimes I forget; sometimes circumstances seem to get in the way.  But when I forget, I really want you to remind me, to hold me accountable; you’re doing me a service.

And when I just blow it, it works for me to clean it up as soon as I can, to make amends when possible.  And (I’m Jewish) there’s always Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement.  I ask God to forgive me – and He always does – even though we both know I’ll do it again.

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Do the Big Rocks First

November 15, 2007

Life is a constant stream of distractions.  Dealing with them often keeps us from our work.  Consider that work is just another distraction.

Your goals create your future.  Your vision of that future empowers those goals.  As I’ve often said, the traffic is even worse when we’re paving the road.  How do we work on our goals when the traffic is so bad, when the distractions mount?

You have big rocks, little rocks and sand – and one bowl.  It makes sense to pour the sand, then the small rocks and then the big rocks –  The trouble is, there’s not enought room for the big rocks. Suppose you do it the other way round.  Put the big rocks in.  Then the small rocks will fit in the available space and the sand will flow around everything to the bottom.  It’s counter-intuitive, and it works.

Every day:  First meditate.  This clears your mind and puts you in touch with the universe.  Then review your goals – speak your affirmations.  Then write down your goals for today, then your plans for the day.  Give yourself time to study and learn.

If that crowds your morning, get up earlier.

Paying Attention to Team

November 12, 2007

Recently I’ve been writing about Team and I’ve been writing about Attention.  I suppose they’re connected, because I seem to be interested in both… I’m certainly paying attention to how a team is a team.

I watched the Giants – vs Cowboys football game yesterday.  I’ve been watching the Giants since before the NFL existed, when there were teams called the Yankees and Brooklyn, so I know something about the game.  I thought the difference yeaterday was in the nature of team. 

It could be said that there were two penalties that may have cost the Giants the game.  They were ‘delay of game’ penalties, both occuring on the same drive, so the Giants had to go 10 yards further and had to give the ball up.  Delay of game is caused be the inability of the team to line up appropriately and get ready for the next play.They have a total of maybe 20 seconds. those One of the fascinating things about football is that 11 men have to be trained to think of themselves as one — They all have to be coordinated on every play.  Not easy, particularly when there’s a dynamic between how you line up on offense and the other team suddenly changes how they line up on defense.  You have to change in an instant and when you can’t, it’s delay of  game.

The same sort of thing happened going the other way, but it happened differently and was amazingly costly.  In this 11 vs 11 game it often comes down to one on one, but that happens in the context of team.  Dallas has a big, fast receiver (Terril Owens).  He is generally faster than any one Giant defender.  So the way the Giant team calls its defensive alignment affects how Owens is covered.  Now, one of the teams changed how that would happen in the 4th quarter, the end of the game.  And it ended up that twice, the Giants had only one admittedly slower man on Owens.  Owens caught two touchdown passes.  This, it seemed to me was a team mismatch – a wrong defensive alignment was called for —and the team could not adjust fast enough. 

When an important game ends — this one was important – most people watch highlights, individual accomplishments.  What was decisive in this game was Team play.

All You Need is Love

November 3, 2007

Knowing and forgetting you know have great, often unrecongnized impact.  I have a fundamental mindset in my coaching that you know the solutions to your problems and you don’t know that you know or have forgotten that you know.  Happened to me…  Rediscovered in one of my Mastermind groups.

“All I ever did was I did what I loved.  And I just made money at it.”  This from a good friend, highly known and respected in his chosen fields.  He just reminded me of the wisdom of the Beatles.  And the wisdom of every religion.  And the wisdom of the  Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment and, of course, the Law of Attraction.  In fact – all wisdom.  So How could I forget?  I certainly know this.

But I see that I sometimes lose my focus.  It’s really exquisite:  Here’s one side:  I focus on money, knowing I will then use it with love.  And the other sideL  I focus on God, knowing “Him” as the substance of Love and the source of prosperity and all my good.  Just a “little” shift in context, like “first give me fire then I’ll give you wood.”

This is why vision is crucial in coaching.  When you are completely focussed on your goal, it’s easy to forget why the goal.  The point of your goal is not the goal!  The point is the ongoing fulfillment of your vision.

What’s your vision?