Archive for the ‘coaching’ Category

Awesome Coaching Notes: 5-21

May 22, 2008

Group Coaching is an interesting phenomenon,,, a lot like a jazz combo – one riff comes after another and flies above it.  The rhythym of the group creates a certain tension that facilitates the solos.  Sounds strange, I know, but the things that are said are often unpredictable.

Last night we dealt with each person’s goals.  I saw that the way we normally treat a goal is similar to the way we usually deal with a project – in some sense like a straight line.  Here’s the starting point – then this step, that step, and on until this milestone is reached, then that and so on.  That’s not even what happens with project plans.  We lose sight of “Man plans, God laughs.”  When plans are fixed, we often scramble to deal with frequent emergencies, shifts in outside factors, oversights, etc.  They often seem to rely on one or two people who somehow deal with the breakdowns and move forward regardless.

Goals rarely start with a well-defined plan; the plan -if any – is usually incomplete or non-existent.  There’s often floundering around, searching for a useful direction.  I use the prairie dog metaphor — constantly sicking your head out and scanning the horizon to see what’s next.  Course correction is constant; ‘next’ is often more valuable than ‘forward.’  Too many people are discouraged by an apparent blunder.  Blunders teach.

That brought up the subject of where do goals come from?  Are they realistic?  Are they achievable?
I floundered.  There’s something useful achieved simply by saying them… Saying them to a group is even more valuable.  This brings the Law of Attraction into play.  We work with ‘how’ to provide focus and intention.  But focusing gives the universe the ‘what.’  Tiny impulses provide the ‘how.’… where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Look, the main feature of goals is that they defy statistics.  I know that some of my clients havce stated goals that seem impossible (“have my husband’s ex-wife stop suing us.”  and similar leaps into the, at best, improbable) And have made their goals.  Not all make their goals.  Most – overwhelming number – do.  Why is the most intriguing question for  coach.

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Coaching Two Point Ahh by Michael Lipp

April 3, 2008

The Coaching 2.0 teleseminar is coming!

Here’s what you will get out of this brand new form of coaching

• You’ll be inspired
• You will experience that insights are contagious
• You will make a difference in other’s lives
• You’ll have fun
• You will be eager for the coaching
• You will see things that matter in your whole life

I want to know what you want to hear.  What will make the biggest difference for you?  I’m sending you a survey so you can tell me. Just ask!

I’ll suggest a few things, but it’s really up to you. 

And I’m going to turn this survey into a contest.  If I choose your topic I’m going to send you a copy of my five-session e-Course:  Having Problems Disappear.  This is really a cool course.  I’ve given it to hundreds of people.  It works.

Write me at michael@michaellipp.com for the survey and to sign up or whatever.

Coaching Two Point Oh Oh

March 27, 2008

You know, I’ve been writing about Coaching 2.0 for a while now.  As I’ve told you, the feedback from my clients has been unvaryingly great.  The problem is that talking about it isn’t it.

So I’ve been wondering how I can give you a taste of it, give you some way of discovering it so you can make use of it in your life, make use of it in your business or, if you’re a coach, make use of it in your practice.

Then I thought – Maybe I can do a teleseminar and really show people how exciting it can be.  Except that would have you hear me talking about it instead of reading about it.  Big deal.  But then I got this idea.

I’ve been on teleseminars where they sometimes let one person from the audience interact with the leader.  Or one person acts as moderator and others interact with the leader.  That’s better, but it’s still not what Coaching 2.0 is, because the flavor is still missing, the dynamism is not there.

Well, I’ve given myself a small research project and I’ll tell you about it on April 3rd, hoping I’m not a fool, because here’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to schedule a teleseminar in a few weeks.  And I am committing to be able to demonstrate Coaching 2.0 in a way that you will absolutely get it.  Call it a bold experiment.

A New Form of Coaching

March 13, 2008

I’ve been practicing a form of coaching that I call Coaching 2.0.  What is it that makes it different from other forms of group coaching and why should people be interested?

Well, to start with, group coaching is more economical than one on one coaching, certainly a meaningful factor, particularly in today’s economy.  But every coach practices group coaching.  So?

Well, there are two mindsets that make this unique.  The first is the underlying premise of Coaching 2.0, which is that each client participates as well as I do, both as client and coach.  And the second premise is that I will lead the conversations in such a way that it stays on purpose and produces value for all.

There are three ways I lead a session.  The first is somewhat standard.  My coaching is fundamentally goal oriented, so we will look at people’s progress or stumbling blocks on fulfilling their goals.  Of course, no one is ever forced to participate, because in any group coaching session, you can ask for discretion, but you can’t guarantee it.  My experience in this matter is that people are extraordinarily generous.  So when one person ‘reports’ on progress or no progress, others join in.  My role is traditional.  I use all the technology of conversations – listening, repeating, interpreting and so on.

The second is that I may look at a general area, let’s say requests and lecture about it for a very few minutes and ask what participants see when they broach that topic; how are they about making requests; how are they about accepting, refusing or counter-offering.  These conversations are lively, pointed and invariably produce breakthroughs for more than one client, perhaps in many goals or goal areas.

And the third is that we dive in without any lecture.  For example, last night I simply read a quote from Frederick Brown, “A thing can look beautiful or romantic or inspiring only if the beauty or romance or inspiration is inside you.  What you see is inside your head.”  And then open the conversation.  Again, that can be very powerful and results in clients having breakthroughs.

This is a fast and fruitful way to coach.

I am offering a free 6-session seminar using Coaching 2.0, called The Principles of Relationships, starting April 21.  See my website, www.michaellipp.com for details and to register.

Requesting

March 7, 2008

Requesting There are two interesting measures of your power in the world and when you look at where we are with each of them, you can see how we rob ourselves.  And both of them deal with requesting.   The first is our ability to say “no” to requests made of us and, perhaps, simply measuring the number of those requests made of us. And the second is our ability to make requests of others. Of course, they’re related.  But let’s deal with them as if separate.  Here are some of the consequences of not being able to say no.  You rob yourself of the ability to contribute.  You feel that you’re being taken advantage of, that people are using you.  You have this sense of being a martyr; resentment builds.  And you have to hide all of that and are not even able to complain about it.  How can you, you said yes? How many noes will it take for you to be free of this?  I think only one.  The most important thing to see is that you aren’t saying no to the person, you’re saying no to the request.  We get the two mixed up.  When you observe that the requestor still feels the same about you, you’re cured, or at least have begun the cure.  Practice.  Oh, yes.  Here’s a crucial adjunct.  Just say no.  Do not give a reason.  You demean yourself by explaining.  In business, you always have to have a CYA statement.  No one believes you; they only believe your reason; it keeps you small. Now, since you feel that way about saying no, you must feel that that’s how someone will feel if you make a request of them.  You don’t want them to feel abused, resentful, obligated to you, and so forth.  You simply don’t want to impose.  Going hand in glove with that is wanting to do it all, and do it all yourself, wanting to live up to a foolish standard of perfection – a combination of Superman and the Lone Ranger.  You rob them of their ability to contribute.  You actually think it’s easier to do it by yourself and you keep finding out it isn’t.  You complain about not enough time, never a minute to yourself.  You feel powerless. How can you learn to make requests?  You can make a request when you know the answer will be no.  Or you can make a request when you know the answer will be yes.  Or both.  Notice their reactions.  Notice yours.  How long will this take?  Maybe forever.  It won’t necessarily go away.  It may go away about certain area, but not with others.  Play.

Viral Coaching

February 14, 2008

One of the ways I coach is with small groups.  My job is to orchestrate the conversation.  What I find over and over is that the participants coach one another; insights are contagious and shift the conversation.  What I do is summarize, appreciate and put my 2 cents in.  And, inevitably, I am coached and get value from the conversation,

In many ways this is far more effective than one on one coaching and, remarkably, it is far less expensive.  I will analogize this to Web 2.0, a sort of Coaching 2.0.  I provide an overall commitment and a gross structure.  You provide the rest.

Why I called this Viral Coaching is another aspect of the same Coaching 2.0 notion.  I know that people will talk about this.  “Hey, I’m doing something that you would love.  You should try this.  It’s Awesome Coaching and it’s awesome.” 

The Name of the Game

February 5, 2008

The name of our game is Trust.

I have said before that attention is the missing ingredient – that we all need to get people’s attention, to keep that attention and then to have people act on it.  I know I need it and so do you.  It may be in forming a relationship; it may be in forwarding a career; it may be in fulfilling a dream, a commitment, a noble cause.  But nothing can be done alone and expanding involvement is always essential.

Let’s talk about keeping attention and then acting on it.  That’s where trust enters in.  Because we have been thoroughtly trained not to trust.  It’s super-Tuesday, after all – Getting through the smokescreens of promises to discover the kernels of believability is up to each of us.  Who can we trust?  We see 5,000 ads a day.  Which wins our trust? 

Trust keeps our attention and causes us to act.  But here’s the conflict: “The only way to make a man trustworthy, is to trust him.” And we have been schooled in suspicion.

Well, here’s what I do and who I am.  What I do is give you tremendous free goods and services.  F’rinstance:  I give away a free 6 session semionar.  I’ve done it four times already and I have another starting Monday, February 18 (and the next 5 Mondays) You email me michael@michaellipp.com and I’ll register you, or I’ll send you a course description:  The Relationship Principles gives you a powerful experience of my coaching and new and valuable insights into your relationships, from intimate to business.  Sign up on my website www.michaellipp.com and you’ll get free newsletters on coaching every week as well as access to the best material you can hope for.  And there are my blogs.  That’s some of what I do.

And who I am (read my profile) is a complete commitment to all of us fulfilling our dreams, obtaining a susteinable environment, social justice and spiritual fulfillment.  I’ve learned a lot in my 71 years and I make it all available.

My intention is to earn the kind of trust that has you ask me to fulfill your wants and needs – not only with coaching.  You can count on my recommendations.

Having What You Want and When You Want

January 23, 2008

Here is how to get what you want, at least the first three steps and these can be enough. 

First see what you want – This may be the hardest step.  Then change your wants into goals. A want is an emotional state, just a little bit stronger than a wish; it has no inherent power.  It may not even involve you.

A goal is a commitment to action.  It’s specific in terms of the intended result and the time when it will be accomplished.  Because of that, goals call for you to look at your possible support structures and your available resources.

Here’s the next step – one you may not be familiar with in this context.  Turn each of your goals into affirmations, but do it this way:  Suppose a goal is to double your income in three months.  An affirmation might be, “I am thrilled that my income is doubled.”
Note that the time is omitted.  That brings the future, as stated in your goal, into the present – with emotion.

Then visualize your life with a doubled income, however you can manifest that vision.  Then say your affirmation with that emotion and visualize the result. Do that twice a day.  Do it with each goal and share that goal with people you care about.

Of course, nothing happens magically; you must take action, muster your support, use your resources and do what you say.  But over and over these steps do work.

I use them with people in a free 6-session teleseminar seminar I give, Successful Relationships [Sign up by sending email to me, Michael Lipp at michael@michaellipp.com  – There’s one in progress and it starts again on February 18th at 7:30 Eastern]

It’s very consistent with my commitments to spiritual fulfillment, social justice and a sustainable environment.  You’ll love it.

Time for Next Year: More on Goals

December 20, 2007

A goal creates a future.  It’s a target, something to aim at, something that provides direction and focus.  And what we don’t fully understand is that when we send energy into the universe, the universe responds to that energy. 

Negative goals manifest the negative circumstances.  I won’t X will always give you more X. Be careful about losing weight and New Year’s resolutions.

Forced goals (like at work) may be met – but they’re always chores.  They mean more work, harder work and less authentic satisfaction. And our heart isn’t in it – our butt, yes – but not our heart.  The universe doesn’t hear grunts.  It hears cheers. Actually, it hears grunts – but it grunts back.

There was a time when I had sales goals with no charge on them at all.  What an amazing strategy –  Here’s how it worked on me:  Whenever I made the goal, I immediately made a higher goal.  Whenever I didn’t make the goal, I immediately made a higher goal because I could see how to correct and so I shot higher. 

It ended up that I received a reward for my performance.  “Why?” I said.  “I rarely ever made my goals.”  But I also never noticed my achievements along the way.  I kept correcting and improving, correcting and improving.  The results grew and grew.

This is part of what formed one of my strong beliefs.  You’ll encounter this again and again: 
“Ready… Fire… Aim!”  Correct and improve, correct and improve,… When there’s no sense of failure, there’s the room to correct and fire again. You know when we landed on the moon, we were off course almost all the time…the strategy of correct and aim was constant and essential.

Awesome Results

December 12, 2007

We had our first session of 21 Awesome Results coaching last night.  The notion behind this is simple – Suppose you had 21 goals for your life; three goals in each of seven areas, basically covering your entire life:  Financial, Career, Recreation & Free Time, Well-Being, Relationships, Other Personal Goals, and Community or Contribution.  Now imagine what your life would be like if you accomplished these goals within a year.

This is a unique form of group coaching, with the intention for you to fulfill those 21 goals.  You can join the group at any time; a free one hour session is scheduled   with you so you can catch up and won’t feel lost in the group. There are two groups, each limited to six people – they’re set up for East Coast/ West Coast convenience as well as making up a missed session.  Your group quickly becomes a community because the structure is  interactive and assignments generally include sharing with a partner.

The cost is  $35/session.