Archive for the ‘goals’ Category

Awesome Coaching Notes: 5-21

May 22, 2008

Group Coaching is an interesting phenomenon,,, a lot like a jazz combo – one riff comes after another and flies above it.  The rhythym of the group creates a certain tension that facilitates the solos.  Sounds strange, I know, but the things that are said are often unpredictable.

Last night we dealt with each person’s goals.  I saw that the way we normally treat a goal is similar to the way we usually deal with a project – in some sense like a straight line.  Here’s the starting point – then this step, that step, and on until this milestone is reached, then that and so on.  That’s not even what happens with project plans.  We lose sight of “Man plans, God laughs.”  When plans are fixed, we often scramble to deal with frequent emergencies, shifts in outside factors, oversights, etc.  They often seem to rely on one or two people who somehow deal with the breakdowns and move forward regardless.

Goals rarely start with a well-defined plan; the plan -if any – is usually incomplete or non-existent.  There’s often floundering around, searching for a useful direction.  I use the prairie dog metaphor — constantly sicking your head out and scanning the horizon to see what’s next.  Course correction is constant; ‘next’ is often more valuable than ‘forward.’  Too many people are discouraged by an apparent blunder.  Blunders teach.

That brought up the subject of where do goals come from?  Are they realistic?  Are they achievable?
I floundered.  There’s something useful achieved simply by saying them… Saying them to a group is even more valuable.  This brings the Law of Attraction into play.  We work with ‘how’ to provide focus and intention.  But focusing gives the universe the ‘what.’  Tiny impulses provide the ‘how.’… where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Look, the main feature of goals is that they defy statistics.  I know that some of my clients havce stated goals that seem impossible (“have my husband’s ex-wife stop suing us.”  and similar leaps into the, at best, improbable) And have made their goals.  Not all make their goals.  Most – overwhelming number – do.  Why is the most intriguing question for  coach.

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Requesting

March 7, 2008

Requesting There are two interesting measures of your power in the world and when you look at where we are with each of them, you can see how we rob ourselves.  And both of them deal with requesting.   The first is our ability to say “no” to requests made of us and, perhaps, simply measuring the number of those requests made of us. And the second is our ability to make requests of others. Of course, they’re related.  But let’s deal with them as if separate.  Here are some of the consequences of not being able to say no.  You rob yourself of the ability to contribute.  You feel that you’re being taken advantage of, that people are using you.  You have this sense of being a martyr; resentment builds.  And you have to hide all of that and are not even able to complain about it.  How can you, you said yes? How many noes will it take for you to be free of this?  I think only one.  The most important thing to see is that you aren’t saying no to the person, you’re saying no to the request.  We get the two mixed up.  When you observe that the requestor still feels the same about you, you’re cured, or at least have begun the cure.  Practice.  Oh, yes.  Here’s a crucial adjunct.  Just say no.  Do not give a reason.  You demean yourself by explaining.  In business, you always have to have a CYA statement.  No one believes you; they only believe your reason; it keeps you small. Now, since you feel that way about saying no, you must feel that that’s how someone will feel if you make a request of them.  You don’t want them to feel abused, resentful, obligated to you, and so forth.  You simply don’t want to impose.  Going hand in glove with that is wanting to do it all, and do it all yourself, wanting to live up to a foolish standard of perfection – a combination of Superman and the Lone Ranger.  You rob them of their ability to contribute.  You actually think it’s easier to do it by yourself and you keep finding out it isn’t.  You complain about not enough time, never a minute to yourself.  You feel powerless. How can you learn to make requests?  You can make a request when you know the answer will be no.  Or you can make a request when you know the answer will be yes.  Or both.  Notice their reactions.  Notice yours.  How long will this take?  Maybe forever.  It won’t necessarily go away.  It may go away about certain area, but not with others.  Play.

The Name of the Game

February 5, 2008

The name of our game is Trust.

I have said before that attention is the missing ingredient – that we all need to get people’s attention, to keep that attention and then to have people act on it.  I know I need it and so do you.  It may be in forming a relationship; it may be in forwarding a career; it may be in fulfilling a dream, a commitment, a noble cause.  But nothing can be done alone and expanding involvement is always essential.

Let’s talk about keeping attention and then acting on it.  That’s where trust enters in.  Because we have been thoroughtly trained not to trust.  It’s super-Tuesday, after all – Getting through the smokescreens of promises to discover the kernels of believability is up to each of us.  Who can we trust?  We see 5,000 ads a day.  Which wins our trust? 

Trust keeps our attention and causes us to act.  But here’s the conflict: “The only way to make a man trustworthy, is to trust him.” And we have been schooled in suspicion.

Well, here’s what I do and who I am.  What I do is give you tremendous free goods and services.  F’rinstance:  I give away a free 6 session semionar.  I’ve done it four times already and I have another starting Monday, February 18 (and the next 5 Mondays) You email me michael@michaellipp.com and I’ll register you, or I’ll send you a course description:  The Relationship Principles gives you a powerful experience of my coaching and new and valuable insights into your relationships, from intimate to business.  Sign up on my website www.michaellipp.com and you’ll get free newsletters on coaching every week as well as access to the best material you can hope for.  And there are my blogs.  That’s some of what I do.

And who I am (read my profile) is a complete commitment to all of us fulfilling our dreams, obtaining a susteinable environment, social justice and spiritual fulfillment.  I’ve learned a lot in my 71 years and I make it all available.

My intention is to earn the kind of trust that has you ask me to fulfill your wants and needs – not only with coaching.  You can count on my recommendations.

Having What You Want and When You Want

January 23, 2008

Here is how to get what you want, at least the first three steps and these can be enough. 

First see what you want – This may be the hardest step.  Then change your wants into goals. A want is an emotional state, just a little bit stronger than a wish; it has no inherent power.  It may not even involve you.

A goal is a commitment to action.  It’s specific in terms of the intended result and the time when it will be accomplished.  Because of that, goals call for you to look at your possible support structures and your available resources.

Here’s the next step – one you may not be familiar with in this context.  Turn each of your goals into affirmations, but do it this way:  Suppose a goal is to double your income in three months.  An affirmation might be, “I am thrilled that my income is doubled.”
Note that the time is omitted.  That brings the future, as stated in your goal, into the present – with emotion.

Then visualize your life with a doubled income, however you can manifest that vision.  Then say your affirmation with that emotion and visualize the result. Do that twice a day.  Do it with each goal and share that goal with people you care about.

Of course, nothing happens magically; you must take action, muster your support, use your resources and do what you say.  But over and over these steps do work.

I use them with people in a free 6-session teleseminar seminar I give, Successful Relationships [Sign up by sending email to me, Michael Lipp at michael@michaellipp.com  – There’s one in progress and it starts again on February 18th at 7:30 Eastern]

It’s very consistent with my commitments to spiritual fulfillment, social justice and a sustainable environment.  You’ll love it.

Time for Next Year: More on Goals

December 20, 2007

A goal creates a future.  It’s a target, something to aim at, something that provides direction and focus.  And what we don’t fully understand is that when we send energy into the universe, the universe responds to that energy. 

Negative goals manifest the negative circumstances.  I won’t X will always give you more X. Be careful about losing weight and New Year’s resolutions.

Forced goals (like at work) may be met – but they’re always chores.  They mean more work, harder work and less authentic satisfaction. And our heart isn’t in it – our butt, yes – but not our heart.  The universe doesn’t hear grunts.  It hears cheers. Actually, it hears grunts – but it grunts back.

There was a time when I had sales goals with no charge on them at all.  What an amazing strategy –  Here’s how it worked on me:  Whenever I made the goal, I immediately made a higher goal.  Whenever I didn’t make the goal, I immediately made a higher goal because I could see how to correct and so I shot higher. 

It ended up that I received a reward for my performance.  “Why?” I said.  “I rarely ever made my goals.”  But I also never noticed my achievements along the way.  I kept correcting and improving, correcting and improving.  The results grew and grew.

This is part of what formed one of my strong beliefs.  You’ll encounter this again and again: 
“Ready… Fire… Aim!”  Correct and improve, correct and improve,… When there’s no sense of failure, there’s the room to correct and fire again. You know when we landed on the moon, we were off course almost all the time…the strategy of correct and aim was constant and essential.

Awesome Results

December 12, 2007

We had our first session of 21 Awesome Results coaching last night.  The notion behind this is simple – Suppose you had 21 goals for your life; three goals in each of seven areas, basically covering your entire life:  Financial, Career, Recreation & Free Time, Well-Being, Relationships, Other Personal Goals, and Community or Contribution.  Now imagine what your life would be like if you accomplished these goals within a year.

This is a unique form of group coaching, with the intention for you to fulfill those 21 goals.  You can join the group at any time; a free one hour session is scheduled   with you so you can catch up and won’t feel lost in the group. There are two groups, each limited to six people – they’re set up for East Coast/ West Coast convenience as well as making up a missed session.  Your group quickly becomes a community because the structure is  interactive and assignments generally include sharing with a partner.

The cost is  $35/session.

Do the Big Rocks First

November 15, 2007

Life is a constant stream of distractions.  Dealing with them often keeps us from our work.  Consider that work is just another distraction.

Your goals create your future.  Your vision of that future empowers those goals.  As I’ve often said, the traffic is even worse when we’re paving the road.  How do we work on our goals when the traffic is so bad, when the distractions mount?

You have big rocks, little rocks and sand – and one bowl.  It makes sense to pour the sand, then the small rocks and then the big rocks –  The trouble is, there’s not enought room for the big rocks. Suppose you do it the other way round.  Put the big rocks in.  Then the small rocks will fit in the available space and the sand will flow around everything to the bottom.  It’s counter-intuitive, and it works.

Every day:  First meditate.  This clears your mind and puts you in touch with the universe.  Then review your goals – speak your affirmations.  Then write down your goals for today, then your plans for the day.  Give yourself time to study and learn.

If that crowds your morning, get up earlier.

Creating Team

October 30, 2007

Supervisors; et al, want to create their groups as a team.  But what does that mean?  What are the characteristics of a team?  This is what I see:

1- Everyone knows their job and knows their role.  They are willing and able to do it.

2- Everyone knows that the success of the team is more important than their own.

3-When someone on the team makes a mistake or is incapable of functioning, another member is willing and able to step in, either in the moment (unasked) or as requested.

4- There’s alignment on the vision and goals of the team.  Members do not have to like one another and they need a way to discharge their differences.

5- There are clear lines of communication.

6- The members have the confidence and ability to cause and sustain rallies.

7- There is one leader (for communication and decisions) and there are many leaders.

Creating team requires an understanding of appreciation and reward for the members and a way of dealing with inadequacy, disagreement and dissension.

Remembering

October 19, 2007

michael.jpgThis is me in case you wondered.  I think it was just taken at my youngest daughter’s wedding.

Here’s the thing – we often know what to do – right after we don’t do it…and vice versa, like remembering we gave up smoking today right after we light up, or saying ‘whoops’ right after eating that piece of cake.

So how can we remember in time?  Ultimately, we can’t – until what we want becomes a habit.  And it takes (most experts say) about a month to lock in a new habit.  So let’s look at what happens when we ‘forget.’.

Consider these responses: “Darn, I just had a piece of cake – I’ll never get this right.”

“I just had a piece of cake, when will I ever learn?”

“I just had a piece of cake, what can I do instead of eating cake?”

There are many different responses – many.  But let’s look at the Law of Attraction.  The first two responses above are fixing your old habit in the universe.  You are attracting never getting it right or never learning.  The third response will actually attract alternative behavior (it also implies forgiveness and that’s critical).  Soon you will be doing something else.

When I set a goal, I immediately turn it into 1) something I visualize as having happened ands 2) an affirmation having the goal manifested in the present (I love ooking great by eating healthy foods, for example.)  And I say that affirmation twice a day (with emotion:  I LOVE looking GREAT by eating healthy foods.)

After a while, you’ll get it – It may no show up according to your plan, but who cares?  It will show up.  Incidentally, I went to my doctor last night and I weighed my lowest since seeing him (went from 245 to 178) I have no sense of dieting.  None!

The New Paradigm

September 10, 2007

I’m operating in a new paradigm – that fits me–It’s the paradigm of the Giftconomy.  Give valuable things away for free.  I don’t think of customers (I never did.)  I think of clients.  And I think of the lifetime value of a client.

On October 1st I’m starting the next iteration of The Success Principles, a free 6-session teleseminar from 7:30 – 8:30EDT Monday evenings.  eMail to register (michael@michaellipp.com )…So far – Rave Reviews.  For Example

“I love being part of your Success Principles group.. It’s a novel way to stay plugged in.. I’ve done a lot of work at Landmark and other venues, and – your TeleClass is like “Accent” –  It’s ‘waking up’ my inner compass, and reminding me of just who I am, for myself, my family and for the world.  Accepting anything less is not acceptable.  Being part of your class is great – it’s energizing and is making a big difference in what’s going on between my ears on a daily basis.  Thanks for ‘re-lighting my fire’ Michael!”
Love,
Ira W.