Archive for the ‘reasoning’ Category

Requesting

March 7, 2008

Requesting There are two interesting measures of your power in the world and when you look at where we are with each of them, you can see how we rob ourselves.  And both of them deal with requesting.   The first is our ability to say “no” to requests made of us and, perhaps, simply measuring the number of those requests made of us. And the second is our ability to make requests of others. Of course, they’re related.  But let’s deal with them as if separate.  Here are some of the consequences of not being able to say no.  You rob yourself of the ability to contribute.  You feel that you’re being taken advantage of, that people are using you.  You have this sense of being a martyr; resentment builds.  And you have to hide all of that and are not even able to complain about it.  How can you, you said yes? How many noes will it take for you to be free of this?  I think only one.  The most important thing to see is that you aren’t saying no to the person, you’re saying no to the request.  We get the two mixed up.  When you observe that the requestor still feels the same about you, you’re cured, or at least have begun the cure.  Practice.  Oh, yes.  Here’s a crucial adjunct.  Just say no.  Do not give a reason.  You demean yourself by explaining.  In business, you always have to have a CYA statement.  No one believes you; they only believe your reason; it keeps you small. Now, since you feel that way about saying no, you must feel that that’s how someone will feel if you make a request of them.  You don’t want them to feel abused, resentful, obligated to you, and so forth.  You simply don’t want to impose.  Going hand in glove with that is wanting to do it all, and do it all yourself, wanting to live up to a foolish standard of perfection – a combination of Superman and the Lone Ranger.  You rob them of their ability to contribute.  You actually think it’s easier to do it by yourself and you keep finding out it isn’t.  You complain about not enough time, never a minute to yourself.  You feel powerless. How can you learn to make requests?  You can make a request when you know the answer will be no.  Or you can make a request when you know the answer will be yes.  Or both.  Notice their reactions.  Notice yours.  How long will this take?  Maybe forever.  It won’t necessarily go away.  It may go away about certain area, but not with others.  Play.

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Viral Coaching

February 14, 2008

One of the ways I coach is with small groups.  My job is to orchestrate the conversation.  What I find over and over is that the participants coach one another; insights are contagious and shift the conversation.  What I do is summarize, appreciate and put my 2 cents in.  And, inevitably, I am coached and get value from the conversation,

In many ways this is far more effective than one on one coaching and, remarkably, it is far less expensive.  I will analogize this to Web 2.0, a sort of Coaching 2.0.  I provide an overall commitment and a gross structure.  You provide the rest.

Why I called this Viral Coaching is another aspect of the same Coaching 2.0 notion.  I know that people will talk about this.  “Hey, I’m doing something that you would love.  You should try this.  It’s Awesome Coaching and it’s awesome.” 

The Name of the Game

February 5, 2008

The name of our game is Trust.

I have said before that attention is the missing ingredient – that we all need to get people’s attention, to keep that attention and then to have people act on it.  I know I need it and so do you.  It may be in forming a relationship; it may be in forwarding a career; it may be in fulfilling a dream, a commitment, a noble cause.  But nothing can be done alone and expanding involvement is always essential.

Let’s talk about keeping attention and then acting on it.  That’s where trust enters in.  Because we have been thoroughtly trained not to trust.  It’s super-Tuesday, after all – Getting through the smokescreens of promises to discover the kernels of believability is up to each of us.  Who can we trust?  We see 5,000 ads a day.  Which wins our trust? 

Trust keeps our attention and causes us to act.  But here’s the conflict: “The only way to make a man trustworthy, is to trust him.” And we have been schooled in suspicion.

Well, here’s what I do and who I am.  What I do is give you tremendous free goods and services.  F’rinstance:  I give away a free 6 session semionar.  I’ve done it four times already and I have another starting Monday, February 18 (and the next 5 Mondays) You email me michael@michaellipp.com and I’ll register you, or I’ll send you a course description:  The Relationship Principles gives you a powerful experience of my coaching and new and valuable insights into your relationships, from intimate to business.  Sign up on my website www.michaellipp.com and you’ll get free newsletters on coaching every week as well as access to the best material you can hope for.  And there are my blogs.  That’s some of what I do.

And who I am (read my profile) is a complete commitment to all of us fulfilling our dreams, obtaining a susteinable environment, social justice and spiritual fulfillment.  I’ve learned a lot in my 71 years and I make it all available.

My intention is to earn the kind of trust that has you ask me to fulfill your wants and needs – not only with coaching.  You can count on my recommendations.

Having What You Want and When You Want

January 23, 2008

Here is how to get what you want, at least the first three steps and these can be enough. 

First see what you want – This may be the hardest step.  Then change your wants into goals. A want is an emotional state, just a little bit stronger than a wish; it has no inherent power.  It may not even involve you.

A goal is a commitment to action.  It’s specific in terms of the intended result and the time when it will be accomplished.  Because of that, goals call for you to look at your possible support structures and your available resources.

Here’s the next step – one you may not be familiar with in this context.  Turn each of your goals into affirmations, but do it this way:  Suppose a goal is to double your income in three months.  An affirmation might be, “I am thrilled that my income is doubled.”
Note that the time is omitted.  That brings the future, as stated in your goal, into the present – with emotion.

Then visualize your life with a doubled income, however you can manifest that vision.  Then say your affirmation with that emotion and visualize the result. Do that twice a day.  Do it with each goal and share that goal with people you care about.

Of course, nothing happens magically; you must take action, muster your support, use your resources and do what you say.  But over and over these steps do work.

I use them with people in a free 6-session teleseminar seminar I give, Successful Relationships [Sign up by sending email to me, Michael Lipp at michael@michaellipp.com  – There’s one in progress and it starts again on February 18th at 7:30 Eastern]

It’s very consistent with my commitments to spiritual fulfillment, social justice and a sustainable environment.  You’ll love it.

Time for Next Year: More on Goals

December 20, 2007

A goal creates a future.  It’s a target, something to aim at, something that provides direction and focus.  And what we don’t fully understand is that when we send energy into the universe, the universe responds to that energy. 

Negative goals manifest the negative circumstances.  I won’t X will always give you more X. Be careful about losing weight and New Year’s resolutions.

Forced goals (like at work) may be met – but they’re always chores.  They mean more work, harder work and less authentic satisfaction. And our heart isn’t in it – our butt, yes – but not our heart.  The universe doesn’t hear grunts.  It hears cheers. Actually, it hears grunts – but it grunts back.

There was a time when I had sales goals with no charge on them at all.  What an amazing strategy –  Here’s how it worked on me:  Whenever I made the goal, I immediately made a higher goal.  Whenever I didn’t make the goal, I immediately made a higher goal because I could see how to correct and so I shot higher. 

It ended up that I received a reward for my performance.  “Why?” I said.  “I rarely ever made my goals.”  But I also never noticed my achievements along the way.  I kept correcting and improving, correcting and improving.  The results grew and grew.

This is part of what formed one of my strong beliefs.  You’ll encounter this again and again: 
“Ready… Fire… Aim!”  Correct and improve, correct and improve,… When there’s no sense of failure, there’s the room to correct and fire again. You know when we landed on the moon, we were off course almost all the time…the strategy of correct and aim was constant and essential.

Creating Team

October 30, 2007

Supervisors; et al, want to create their groups as a team.  But what does that mean?  What are the characteristics of a team?  This is what I see:

1- Everyone knows their job and knows their role.  They are willing and able to do it.

2- Everyone knows that the success of the team is more important than their own.

3-When someone on the team makes a mistake or is incapable of functioning, another member is willing and able to step in, either in the moment (unasked) or as requested.

4- There’s alignment on the vision and goals of the team.  Members do not have to like one another and they need a way to discharge their differences.

5- There are clear lines of communication.

6- The members have the confidence and ability to cause and sustain rallies.

7- There is one leader (for communication and decisions) and there are many leaders.

Creating team requires an understanding of appreciation and reward for the members and a way of dealing with inadequacy, disagreement and dissension.

Giant Steps

October 11, 2007

When I was maybe 7 or 8 we used to play a street game called “Giant Steps.”  The leader would tell a player he or she could come closer and when they touched, the leader would chase them back to the start line.  If they got there first, they became the leader, otherwise the leader stayed the same. 

The leader would say, “You may take 3 giant steps,” or “you may take 5 baby steps,” or you may take 4 umbrella steps,” etc.  My point is that you were not allowed to actually take the steps until you said, “May I?” and the leader said, “yes.”

The key element in being able to move forward was permission.

It is still that way.  You cannot engage effectively with another person without permission.  It is another one of the key tips about coaching.  First permission, then whatever else.

And people are enormously generous in giving permission.  The simple request, “is it all right if I tell you something?” shifts the context of the conversation, actually changing the ears of the other person.  Now, if what you want to say feels especially awkward or sensitive to you, go for more permission.  “This may be sensitive; is it still okay?”  Or “I don’t want you to hear this the wrong way, is it still okay?”

Again, people are generous.  It shifts the interaction from intrusiveness to partnership. 

Once you have permission, you can say anything – without fear of reprisal.  After all, you have been invited in.There is another aspect of permission that also has tremendous value.  When you are nervous or feel silly or stupid or inappropriate, give yourself permission – “I feel really stupid saying this, but ….,” or “I’m awfully nervous about this, …”

The coaching model I use goes as follows:  First permission, then ask a question, then clarify the answer… This frequently leads to the client having an insight.  This, in turn, results in a possible action, which, when repeated, leads to new habits and, ultimately to desired results.

My website is www.michaellipp.com

The Success Principles

September 16, 2007

I invite you to participate in the second “Success Principles” workshop. This has proven to be an exceptional introduction to the benefits of coaching as well as a valuable refresher course, if you are already familiar with coaching.I have had incredible and valuable feedback from the people who are in the current Workshop and want to extend this invitation to you.

Send an email to michaellipp-261308@easywebautomation1.com to register.

I’m also redesigning my website to reflect these changes – www.michaellipp.com – but it will be a day or two.

Writing for the Century

July 16, 2007

I spent last weekend with the luminaries of the ‘transformational world.’ Seems only Werner Erhard was missing (He was one of my first and set my course).  Too bad.  I somehow have escaped Information Overload.  I will let it in (and let it out) in trickles… so it’s all there.

Interesting how almost every speaker at the Seminar of the Century validated the Law of Attraction in their own lives – Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, .., etc.
Of course, the emphasis was on wealth and success – And it ain’t necessarily so.

I’m giving a telesemina on Wenesday, July 18th (7:30 EDT).  You can register on my website http://www.michaellipp.com . It’s about my growing experience with the Law.

All I know is that the more I talk, the more of you will listen, particularly where my commitment is to provide growing value for you.

Useful Quote

The Law of Attraction is not about money, it’s about living in harmony with yourself.
nancy lipp

Laws and Speculation

June 25, 2007

Announcement:

Interested in The Law of Attraction? I ‘m offering a free teleclass  on Wednesday July 18th, at 7:30 EDT (email me that you’ll attend).  I’ll be sharing my experiences and there’ll be plenty of time for questions.

I’ve started a Forum on my website so that you can post topics or questions on the Law of Attraction.

Laws and Speculation

I recently wrote:  The way the Law of Attraction works is that you ask for something and the universe creates circumstances that allow you to have it.

This seems like arrant nonsense – magical thinking.  Besides, you object, I ask for things all the time and don’t get them. So this law doesn’t work.

Unlike the Law of Gravity, controlled experiments and measurements don’t apply here.  And it is a law; it always operates.  We do know that everything is energy and that this energy is matched by the universe.  But what we don’t fully understand is how to focus, how to concentrate – certainly how to measure that energy.  There are courses and practices that help – and this is still early on in our understanding.

We are complex beings and we’re always changing.  We are capable of having contradictory thoughts and feelings – and they change.  So if we think ‘A’ but we are not pure in that thought, we may well be calling in the underlying circumstance; we may get the opposite.

And we have only a glimmer of understanding of how this is for individuals – Its real value lies in discovering how communities and societies can focus these energies and sustain their focus.

Useful Quotes

A speculator is a man who observes the future, and acts before it occurs. 
Bernard M. Baruch

All the interests of my reason, speculative as well as practical, combine in the three following questions: 1. What can I know? 2. What ought I to do? 3. What may I hope?
Immanuel Kant

Law is mind without reason
Aristotle